Archive for the 'Funny Bone' Category

Dilbert 20070529

May 29th, 2007 * Comments(0)

Dilbert 20070509

Yeah…that about sums it up.

Laziness, A Salute

April 27th, 2007 * Comments(3)

Not My Job

Stairmasster

Drug Dealers vs. Geeks

March 05th, 2007 * Comments(0)

http://www.silliness.org/drugsvsgeeks.html

Drug Dealers Software Developers
Refer to their clients as “users” Refer to their clients as “users”
“The first one’s free!” “Download a free trial version…”
Have important Asian connections. Have important Asian connections.
Strange jargon:”Stick”"Rock”

“Wrap”

“E”

“Stash”

“Drive-by”

“Hit (LSD)”

“Source”

“The Pigs”

 Strange jargon:”SCSI”"RTFM”

“Packet”

“C”

“Cache”

“CTRL ALT DEL”

“Hit (WWW)”

“Source-code”

“Microsoft”
Realize that there’s tons of cashin the 14- to 25-year-old market Realize that there’s tons of cashin the 14- to 25-year-old market
Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn’t work they want to kill you. Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn’t work they want to kill you.
Job is assisted by the industry’sproducing newer, more potent product. Job is assisted by the industry’sproducing newer, more potent products.
Often seen in the company of pimps,hustlers and low-lifes. Often seen in the company of marketingpeople, venture capitalists and fund managers.
When things go wrong, a “fix” is justa phone call away, but may be expensive. When things go wrong, a “fix” is justa phone call away, but may be expensive.
A lot of people are getting richwhile still teenagers. A lot of people are getting richwhile still teenagers.
Product causes unhealthy addictions DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D…
Do your job well and you can sleep withsexy movie stars who depend on you. Damn! DAMN!!!

Cooking with Sony

February 28th, 2007 * Comments(1)

Most people use a grill of some type, charcol or gas, to cook their steaks.  Some people use a pan or skillet.  I want to be like this guy and use a PS3.

Math Is Good

February 21st, 2007 * Comments(0)

My cousin Erin sent these to me.  I couldn’t help but laugh.  http://www.josh-kerr.com/photos/album/funnies/

Prison v. Work

May 19th, 2006 * Comments(1)

IN PRISON……….you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK………..you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON………you get three meals a day.
AT WORK……….you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON……….you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK………..you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON……….the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK………..you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON……….you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK………..you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON………you get your own toilet.
AT WORK……….you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON………..they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK…………you aren’t even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON………all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK……….you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON……….you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK ……….you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON…….. .you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK………..they are called managers.

Now get back to work. You’re not getting paid to check emails.

No I Don’t Write Dilbert

November 30th, 2004 * Comments(0)

When you work in the technical industry you will find yourself reading Dilbert a lot. As I read them I send the links/images to my coworkers to point out how almost everything Dilbert goes through we go through. That in turns begs the question that I get at work, “Do you write Dilbert comics”? No I don’t but the man who does is a genius.

Quote of the Day

July 27th, 2004 * Comments(0)

This is probably the best quotes I’ve seen, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if real life supported control-Z?”

End users

June 22nd, 2004 * Comments(0)

There is an employee here at work who is a real hoot. I’m in charge of maintaining an Access ‘97 application that is to say the least, buggy! We’ll amidst my many trouble tickets I see to, I’ve meet some really interesting people. One person in particular said something to me that was the funniest thing I’ve heard. The application had an error and displayed a message box.  While he was venting on me he said and I quote, “The box says OK, but its not OK. I don’t want to click on OK because its NOT OK. Do you understand, its NOT OK!” End users, gotta love’m