Josh-Kerr.com

Recently I accepted an offer from USAA and will be working for them starting on July 2nd as an IT Programmer Analyst.  Basically it’s a fancy title for programming nerd/geek guy.  Final Support has been a great company to work for and some of the best co-workers one could ask for.  So it is with some regret that I leave them.  However, I feel that USAA will provide me more of the challenge that I’m looking for in a work environment with the opportunity for growth.  I’m ready to make the switch and get to it.

It’s on!  Some friends of our and us have been picking on each other the last few weeks about who’s going to “domino” first.  In the last few months we’ve had more baby showers and births than I can count and we’ve been holding out.  So, in good humor Bo and I have been making sly comments about the influx of babies and who’s going to be next.  Example, while in Guatemala we would sneak pregnancy testers into each others bag and make comments when we saw new mothers walking around.  We’ll, Bo won the battle tonight in flying colors.  After our little social event we, a lot of people including Bo and Katie, all went out to Alamo Cafe for dinner.  Bo got the waitress to bring me a little desert and have a few waiters sing “Happy Father’s Day” to me because I just found out that we were expecting.  ***No, we are not expecting at this time.***  Priceless is the best way to describe it.

Bo, I am declaring war on you my friend.  I shall get you back!  Just you wait, I shall get you back!

Joshua 6:20

When the trumpets sounded, the people shouted, and at the sound of the trumpet, when the people gave a loud shout, the walls collapsed…

Ironic isn’t it? A story taken from the book of Joshua that happened some 2500 years ago and yet here I am about to tell you a similar story. I went on the Guatemala mission trip not knowing what I’d be doing or what to expect. I went knowing that God had something in store for me and I would just have to trust him.

I’ve been described by many who really know me as “a big teddy bear but I wouldn’t ever want to be around you when you’re angry” and “a big strong man with a big caring heart”. Both descriptions are accurate if you were to ask me however at the same time, like most men, I have my wall. This wall is similar for most men in the way that we don’t talk about our emotions, struggles, pains, weaknesses unless it’s with that someone who we trust. This trust is no ordinary trust either, it’s a trust that most men only share with one or two people in their lifetime. This trust is powerful enough for us to let our guard down willingly, something that many wives out there would kill for.

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We’re back from our trip to Guatemala. I would have made this post but I was soooo tired. I’ll have a full post soon about the trip but checkout the Outboundguatemala.com sight for a collection of our posts. Also, I’ve uploaded my pictures to my flickr account.

Go to outboundguatemala.com and check it out.

I’m sitting here at home packing for our mission trip to Guatemala and I have to say I’m pumped about it. It’s kinda weird actually. Here I am spending my vacation time in another country and I’m not relaxing, I’m working. But to me, that is vacation. I have never been able to just sit and do nothing. When I find myself in those situations I go nuts. I was even that way on our honeymoon :( So here I go, to another country to do God’s work. That in itself is another thing that I find weird. Some are probably thinking, ‘he, a Christian, thinks that doing God’s work is weird?’ and to that I just have to say, I know?! I’ve grown up in a Christian home and for the most part, it’s all I’ve ever known. I was never a real trouble maker, always did good in school, and got along with just about everyone. I’m the nice guy that you either know or hear about. I’ll treat you with respect and help you out in any way I can. I go to church, I love my wife, and serve God. I’ve had a good life thus far and I’m extremely grateful for it.

You may be asking yourself, so whats the problem? I know I was. Despite my blessed life I’ve fought and still am fighting my own personal demons. What most non-believers fail to understand is that being a Christian doesn’t make you any better or worse than anybody else. It means that you’re forgiven. That’s it. That’s the big mystery. I am forgiven of my sins through Christ alone. My problem is that no matter how hard I try I still fail and obeying God and doing what he says/wants. Despite my blessed life I used to yearn for a life with out God. I turned from him, walked my own path, and did what I wanted to do. Thankfully it didn’t last long and I didn’t do anything ‘bad’ but it’s something I still have to live with and fight off each day. I’ve accepted God’s forgiveness and blessings but I still know that I, symbolically speaking, spat in God’s face and told him I didn’t need him. The feeling is the same feeling you get when you do something wrong despite knowing the costs and you hurt someone you love. It’s not a good feeling. Thankfully God is patient, forgiving, and loving because I’d given up on myself a long time ago but not Him. My life has changed much since then and I’ve been yearning to live a life that pleases Him. Sure I stumble, but I have good friends that help me get back up. My ‘walk’ with the Lord has been much smoother since then and it’s amazing how much better I feel now compared to when I tried to live on my own understanding.

Which brings us back to why I think it’s a little weird that I’m going on a mission trip to do God’s work. Only He would take someone who “spitted in his face” and say, ‘You are my child and though you turned from me for a time I still love you and will always love you.’ I don’t know why I’m going on this mission trip other than the fact that God placed it on my heart to go. I don’t know what I’ll do, what I’ll say, or what to expect other than I’ll do. I do know that God wants me there, I’ll speak for God threw God, and I’ll do what he tells me to do. I know this will be a life changing experience and I’m looking forward to it.

Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. In all ways remember him. Then he will make your paths smooth and straight.

Jeremiah 1:5, NIV

Before I formed you in your mother’s body I chose you. Before you were born I set you apart to server me. I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations.

Psalm 139:13-16, NKJV

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works and that my soul knows well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed, and in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them